KORANCRONYMS!

The Koran could be a pamphlet if it only said things once instead of repeating the same ideas over and over again. We can just use one of these acronyms to replace a whole long rant. Common ones are: (in alphabetical order)

GHGS (God Hates Good Sense) We saw at the beginning that if a wild-eyed street preacher comes up and starts babbling about an invisible book that only he can see, and you don’t instantly believe him, god will hate you. If you even ask for evidence, god will hate you. In other words, if you have an ounce of common sense, god hates you.

GWFYU (God’ll Fuck You Up)
This one even has a song to go with it. MP3. Lyrics. Both.
2: 41 And believe in what I have sent down which verifies what is already with you; and do not be the first to deny it, nor part with it for little gain; and beware of Me.
3:56 Those who are infidels will surely receive severe punishment both in this world and the next; and none will they have to help (or save) them.

For more, open a random page ….

IKE (I know everything) Use for:
2:33 I know the unknown of the heavens and the earth, and I know what you disclose and know what you hide
2;181, God hears all and knows everything. Also 2:227, 2:265, …
5:54 God is infinite and all-knowing.
8:10 surely God is All-mighty, All-wise.
8:41, 8;42, 8:43 etc etc

JAC (Judgment day’s A- Comin’)
21:47 We shall set up scales of justice for the Day of Judgment,
23:16 Again, on the Day of Judgment, will ye be raised up.
32:25 Verily thy Lord will judge between them on the Day of Judgment,
52:7 Verily, the Doom of thy Lord will indeed come to pass;
69:18 That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

NAM (Nobody Appreciates Me)
2:51-2 Yet, remember, as We communed with Moses for forty nights you took the calf in his absence (and worshiped it), and you did wrong. Even so, We pardoned you that you may be grateful.
7:3 Yet little do you care to remember.
7:10 We settled you on the earth, and provided means of livelihood for you in it; but little are the thanks you give.

PAP (Pray and Pay)
92:4-6 as in this post, also
32:16 Their limbs do forsake their beds of sleep, the while they call on their Lord, in Fear and Hope: and they spend (in charity) out of the sustenance which We have bestowed on them.
2:3 3 … fulfil their devotional obligations, and spend in charity of what We have given them;
2:195 Spend in the way of God,
2:267 O believers, give in charity what is good of the things you have earned,
13:22 fulfill their devotional obligations, and spend of what We have given them … For them is the recompense of Paradise:
58:12 if you confer with the Prophet in private, give alms in the name of God before you go to confer.

TAGTH (They’ll All Go To Hell) and it’s ever-popular variant, You’ll All Go To Hell.
I bet there isn’t a page in the book that isn’t sending somebody to hell. Pick one.

TIT (This book Is True)
18:1 … God who has revealed to His votary the Book which is free of all obliquity,
18:1 … God who has revealed to His votary the Book which is free of all obliquity,
32:2 (This is) the Revelation of the Book in which there is no doubt,- from the Lord of the Worlds.
69:43 (This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.
29:47 those to whom We have sent down the Book will believe in it. Only those who are infidels will deny it.
32:2 The revelation of this Book free of doubt and involution is from the Lord of all the worlds.

WIFL (I damn well do Whatever I Feel Like)
3:13 for God reinforces with His help whomsoever He will.
5:40 He punishes whom He will, and pardons whom He please, for God has the power over all things.
7:128 “God does whatever he wants.” 35:8 ditto

YGS (Yer Gods Suck) Mohammed is always neener neener-ing people saying their gods can’t do anything, and his god did it all. We saw this in all its glory with his Uzza sermon and the Satanic verses.

Published on January 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Phat post, great looking blog, added it to my favorites!

  2. Was this supposed to be funneh?

    All of those verses made alot of sense to me..If God tells you something then reminds you to show the importance of it..to emphasize…

    I don’t see what’s the problem… 😕

  3. I just finished reading all your posts on the Koran.
    You really took one for the team reading through that book and I just wanted to thank you for the very through provoking stuff.
    The more I learn about islam the more pity the regular everyday people stuck under that system, what a waste.


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